In-Between

Stuck in-between. Such an uncomfortable place to be. Stuck in-between an argument, an ideology, a social construct, commitments, personalities. Not an ideal place in-between.

Back when I taught grade school those spaces were the hardest for children. What we educators called transition times. Moving from one space or activity to the next. These are the times where behaviors often could get most out of hand. Where the entire group could implode or individual tempers could flare. Transition times needed to be closely monitored and were better navigated with structure. Guidelines and expectations yes, rules. Some children had a harder time with this than others. Impulse control could be more difficult during transitions. The structure provided by the rules made it possible to get through most of these spaces with a minimum of chaos. The children needed the container of clear and consistent expectations to feel safe.

As a society we are in-between a place of hope and despair, as
individuals, on both a micro and macro level. Despair over the pandemic of a lifetime the death and destruction in its wake. Hope in the form of vaccines and herd immunity on the horizon. We are right in the middle of this with no clear guidelines, no real road map, and jumbled expectations. It does not feel particularly safe and some of us are navigating this transition better than others.

The messaging is a mixed bag of reopening and fear of “variants.” An “arms” race against time and an unpredictable menace. On the one hand we are told of loosening restrictions and guidelines. On the other hand parts Europe are locking down again. It’s hard to know what to feel… hope? Or despair? So we sit, and wait, in-between.

How is this showing up for you personally? What rules are you following? How might you be acting out? How is your impulse control? How is your physical, mental and spiritual health?

Personally mine is tenuous. I rocket between hope and despair internally but have been reluctant to voice this. Knowing words and intention have great power I am relatively silent on where we are headed and how I truly

feel about it all. I ultimately have put my faith in something greater than myself and am trusting the teacher.
I’m waiting for the structure, the rules, the clear and consistent expectations. I need them. I am craving some sort of order to return to feel safe. In the meantime I am trying to remember to use my tools. Everything that I can do to self-soothe, to take care of myself, to create a container for the hope to come. It’s a hard place to be, hold yourself and others gently in this space. It’s a difficult time for everyone in-between.